“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
— Stephen Chbosky, film director and author
I met Stefan Deutsch (https://activepause.com/deutsch/) online and sent him my Operating Manual for Enlightenment. He sent me his Love Decoded: Getting the Love You Deserve. Here are his “Nine Laws for Fulfilling Relationships,” taken from the introduction, along with my comments. His approach reminds me of cognitive behavioral therapy, which says you reap what you say.
Approaching love this way is like crossing a swamp by jumping from stone to stone. This may keep you out of the muck, but it does not lead to higher ground. There is, truly, a heart space for higher love, and you cannot explain your way there.
Here are his nine laws with my comments after each.
1. Love that has to be earned isn’t love.
2. Become aware of your own and others’ unloving, conditional behaviors.
3. Never reject others’ loving energy.
4. Never allow others to behave unlovingly without consequence. Ask them to love you unconditionally.
5. Do not assume that there is any intentionality behind any act that hurts, disappoints, or angers you. Resist the temptation to blame others.
6. Assume all people, like you, are always doing the best they can.
7. Loving energy is real, nourishing, and visceral. It is like air, food, and water, and everyone needs to give and receive it in all our relationships.
8. Loving energy has many names. It is not to be confused with automatic, physical, and sexual energy.
9. The act of giving love must involve a conscious decision to be unconditionally loving.What I Consider Important…
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