“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”
— Peter Drucker
The psychotherapist Carl Rogers (1902-1987), considered the most influential psychotherapist in history, is said to have taught us how to listen. As a result, therapists and counselors are taught a technique called reflective listening wherein the listener stops the speaker to summarize what they’ve heard. Through this means, we are taught, the listener is both affirmed, encouraged, and invited to further develop and reveal their deeper thoughts and feelings. This is nonsense. Don’t do it…
We communicate best when we entrain our brainwaves. That is, when the speakers and listeners are following each other neurologically into their different brainwave states… Amazingly, counselors and therapists don’t recognize this. They’ve been brainwashed to think that reflective listening is smart and effective. To be heard authentically has little to do with words and certainly does not require your summary. It is assumed that you’re following and only those who cannot are in need of trying to prove otherwise.
Neurology of Expression
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