“We must not allow other people’s perceptions to define us.”
— Virginia Satir, psychologist
|Lincoln Stoller, PhD, 2021. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)
I contracted Covid on March 17, 2020 with a week-long fever, sickness and night sweats. It did not go to my lungs but I was warned that it was not over. Two weeks later it swept through my gut with a 48 hour vomit and diarrhea blitz. Then the worst was over but my activity level was down 60%, and so things have remained, getting slightly better, for the last 18 months.
Three weeks ago a new variant was reported and many indifferent people, questioning the whole narrative, didn’t give it much credence. But, canary in the coal mine that I am, I watched with smug immunity as my young household exhibited some symptoms to which I seemed to be immune. Then I collapsed.
It was strangely refreshing to wake up crumpled on the floor where I had previously stood before the sink, and another time waking up laid out with the stairs for a pillow. But now this was pulmonary, and while it was nice to revive, collapsing in a faint was doing nothing for my confidence. I was trying to take care of the house, shop and care for my son, write my books, be a counsellor, and go for daily walks. Collapsing spontaneously for a lack of oxygen was not a good indication. This was going in the wrong direction.
I’ve been skeptical of the symptoms from the start. I’d been monitoring my oxygen saturation levels for over a year. They have been holding up, but, apparently no longer. I drove myself to the hospital. Never having been under hospital care before, it seemed like a reasonable step to take.
Once upon a time there was health care. A doctor, pharmacist, herbalist, or naturopath understood your physiology and applied their clinical experience to direct you back to health. Now there are bureaucrats, people with no medical experience, who prescribe the actions of doctors and nurses for the purpose of maximizing their institution’s profit. The cost of your survival is a measure of their care, not whether you survive but what it costs them to make it so. You are still considered an asset of some value, but your health is weighed in contrast to what it costs them to manage it.
There are three kinds of truth: what is reliable, what is dictated, and lies. Lies are a truth when they’re believed, and they become facts by virtue of all who attest to them. We have been taught that science is a method of identifying the reliable and consistent, but that has become a lie as science has been twisted to serve the ends of those who would extract value from an otherwise balanced system.
The pervasive system of lies now broadcast through social media, most of which are institutional lies created as propaganda, serves the same function propaganda has always served. You are an asset only so long as you generate profits for the investors. What you see as truth is of no other importance. All people in capitalist systems are treated as raw materials for profit. “Truth” never existed for us. Science is no more respected than religion. The argument of what is true is a social fallacy from the start. As far as individuals are concerned, truth is what justifies expectations. As far as the system is concerned, truth is what ensures return on investment. But for those who can see beyond their fears, truth is the consequence of your actions regardless of what you think of yourself.
I could not measure the truth of my infection beyond my fainting spells, but these spells clearly threatened to take me down. I did not know what the hospital could do for me, but they had oxygen and I needed it.
I checked in through the Emergency Room. I may have well entered a hive of insects. The doctors directed the workers, no one said anything of insight. There was no “solution” and all they offered was oxygen which would either save me or would not. They threatened me with intubation, but not because it would save me, only because that’s all they could do. It was as if they had no idea about anything, and I believe that because of the mandates of bureaucrats and brainless managers they do have no idea about anything.
“Oxygen” was the mantra, and they placed me before it as if I was laid out on the altar. Yet, so stupid were they that they could barely keep my hospital room above 65 degrees. I was freezing to death as they stood by watching my oxygen levels. Yes, they had blankets, thin cotton vestments better suited for use as shower curtains. This was “intensive care.” Every ass covered but yours. Eventually, I was given enough to bury myself in a semblance of warmth.
We now know that Covid was designed as a bioweapon. China was happy to develop it according the instructions of the US “healthcare system” because they knew they’d have advance warning of what it would do.
No one seems to know why it was released, but stupidity is always the first suspect. However, the pandemic’s effect has crippled the economy of every world power but one: China is the only economy to have sustained robust growth over the past year, and no one is pointing any fingers because all the fingers are coated with shit.
We’d like to crucify Anthony Fauci as the ringleader, but he’s just one of many outhouses of evil. There are warehouses filled with dehydrated versions of him and his associates just waiting to be rehydrated as needed. They’re all equally mendacious, immoral, and indifferent. They are the managerial extension of the banking system and they’ll only be stopped when we stop the system that generates them in the assembly line of robots designed to slaughter whatever people fetche the highest value. Simply to listen to these people is to be misled. We know this. The breadcrumbs are there in the patent records.
As things have developed over the past 50 years it’s become all the more apparent that politicians are not dishonest or conspiratorial, they are designed to be stupid and fail. Like the microsoft operating system, everything in the system is designed to fail. These people have no judgement or morals.
Donald Trump was an ideal leader as he knew and understood nothing and could only utter incendiary nonsense. Trump was the fictive airplane crashing into the Twin Towers. Following him, Joe Biden is a version of Max Headroom for which the brain was simply left out entirely. The less pretense of sense, the less organization of any sort of awareness. Bill Clinton was a liability for his selfish desires, and George Bush for his smug stupidity, but no politician is allowed to endanger the fractional banking system, a system whose only goal is the consolidation of power.
Once in Prussia, public education was invented to create a more able workforce. Now, we need a less able workforce and “education” serves to confuse, teachers to mislead, and politicians to foment nonsense, all in the hopes that otherwise able thinking people will take the bait and be swept into making the ultimate sacrifice: to work as blind slaves, soldiers, or miscreants.
Let us memorialize the heroes who fought so mindlessly that they had no human role at all. Once the war is hot, the people are just a stack of poker chips. Respect those who protect their human values, never respect those who have abandoned them. Covid is a hot war, no mistake about it, and anyone who sees this truth can watch Mordor plow the earth under.
Much Ado About Nothing
I’ve been sent to intensive care. They take my vitals hourly and threaten to intubate me if my condition worsens. They don’t actually do anything to make it better, in fact they do almost nothing at all except the oxygen. I might have fared better if I’d spent the week in the heated baths, as it was I shivered as snow threatened outside the poorly heated building.
My mind was almost gone. I could hardly remember my own front door and living on text messages and email was like being a rat in a basement. How quickly our mind starts to evaporate once our routine goes out the window.
Either they got bored, or I failed to succumb fast enough, but after a week, they exercised their first good idea: put me on oxygen and send me home. I was no longer contagious, they said, and I could plug in my own oxygen loaner machine. I could turn the oxygen up or down. I could pace the room, climb the stairs, use the toilet, and take a shower. I could sit at my desk and type, oxygen puffing into my nostrils.
By now, you know that there exist a wide range of effective responses to the virus, and you should also know that Western governments will deny almost every one of these to you. Even the simple science of viral reproduction within your cell, well known for decades, is now an unendorsed realm as if gravity was no longer understood.
The virus is not like a bacteria, but it does have its requirements, and those basically center around our cell’s reproductive powers being exploited by it. At earlier stages, viral reproduction is itself a problem. You may be contagious not only to others but to other systems in your own body.
In other cases, your lung, circulatory, or cardiac function may be impacted. It is now my experience that in none of these cases has the hospital anything to offer. This is amazing given all that’s known in theory or practice.
In my case, I was given oxygen. My blood pressure was taken hourly. I had daily chest x-rays. Venous blood was drawn every three hours. I suppose if my chemistry called for intervention, then drugs would have been administered. I was given injections of heparin every two hours, a quick syringe to the stomach. Heparin is a blood thinner used to prevent the development of blood clots. All of these interventions went on 24 hours a day for the full week I was under hospital care.
Simple steps to withhold our cell’s services include high levels of vitamin D3, flooding the eukaryotic mitochondria with zinc, and the use of antioxidants. There are a host of antivirals known by healers for ages, but there are no healers any more in “advanced countries,” only health cost managers disguised as doctors, most of whom are too frightened or ignorant to connect the dots.
Doctors today are not like technicians, they are like street cleaners. They remove the natural systems that collect and would otherwise collaborate into the decay of gardens and compost. They take out the garbage to leave the corporate coffers ready to be fertilized by your body. We get more insight from undertakers and autopsies than we do from doctors.
The atmosphere is naturally 21% oxygen and your blood is able to carry oxygen at 95% saturation. If you cannot carry sufficient oxygen in your blood, then you’ll suffocate. Oxygenation levels below 90% place you in danger, and below 80% you’ll be dead.
The health care system knows only one way to raise your oxygen level, and that’s to pump oxygen into your lungs. This does no real good in the long-term unless your lungs can use this oxygen to heal themselves, but the addition can keep you alive.
Through various pumps, I was given between 30 and 100% O2 and turned like a Rotisserie chicken. Some nurses said one thing was necessary; other seemed to give other stories. Between the endless nights and my addled brain, barely remembering where I’d come from, it could have been that the nurses, physical therapists, respiratory therapists, were following a consistent line. But now that I’m regaining my mind, I don’t think so. There were different stories, and none were based on fact, only anecdote and management directive.
If your lungs are damaged, waterlogged, or leaking air then keeping them inflated with artificial oxygen will sustain you, though it is not guaranteed. How does the hospital heal you? They don’t. How does the hospital think you’ll heal yourself? They have no idea. There are theories of what your lungs need to accomplish but there is no protocol at the hospital for getting you there.
The hospital will do more for a broken bone or perforated intestine. They’ll join the ruptured parts and staunch the bleeding, but for your lungs they do nothing because they can’t affect oxygen transfer other than by adding oxygen. They can intubate you and force air into your failing lungs, but their success in saving your life is not good and your own ability to heal yourself is undermined.
They may say your lungs are leaking air, or that your lungs are filling with fluid, or that you’ve got an infection in your chest. If you’ve got pneumonia, they can give you antibiotics, but they seem to know or admit nothing regarding antivirals. All they can really do is attempt to inflate your lung in the most ham-fisted way possible. And if your lung should fail to inflate under pressure, then you’ll die in intensive care and the intensivists will simply shrug their shoulders.
But there are antivirals. There are close to 60 successful randomized studies, 30 double-blind studies, and tens of epidemiologic studies demonstrating the effective remediation of off-patent or no-patent pharmaceuticals against viral damage, infection, or consequent inflammation supplements
I published Covid-19, Illness and Illumination in 2020. Since that time there has been new confirmations of the antiviral properties of existing drugs. At the same time, there has been an on-going anti-health, anti-science, and anti-medicine flood of lies and distortions from every quarter that profits from the control, denial, and withholding of health products, care, or services.
In some cases, we know the biochemistry. In other cases, we can have a positive effect. But in any case, those who want to see the reality must understand whatever it is they do see. Reality is the perception, not the conclusion. To know, you cannot be biased, prejudiced, or a manipulator of lies and misinformation.
That does not mean that every report is equally well-balanced or comes to the same conclusion, but it does mean that flagrant propaganda and self-interest needs to be expelled. Unfortunately, flagrant propaganda and self-interest ARE the model of pharmaceutical development, medical services, and short-sighted management.
It is almost as if inadequate health care, such as we obtain through the use of lies and misdirection, is THE supported mode of corporate medical services, in contradiction with the Hippocratic oath of providing positive action and support. This is important: the principles of corporate healthcare are diametrically opposed to the social good. It’s not simply that innovation searches for a reward, instead, it’s that every innovation must be twisted to its maximum advantage such that the process becomes predatory and not supportive. No idea is too good to be corrupted to amplify profit and create damage to the competition.
The benefits of rapid application of hydroxychloroquine were just emerging when I first published “Covid-19, Illness and Illumination.” Hydroxychloroquine is now wholly dismissed in the unscientific press but widely embraced to positive effect by independent hospital guidelines.
Ivermectin has even greater positive antiviral effects that are protective, restorative, and recuperative.
I’ve had Covid-Long haul for almost 2 years, but until 3 weeks ago I did not have the full, life-threatening version of Covid. The pulmonary weakness I now experience, which it is fair to say could well have killed me, is the main and most dangerous Covid syndrome. In spite of working with hospital services, I still have no prognosis as to when I might recover. I have no hesitation to work on rebuilding lung capacity, and I am in no hurry or desperate need to recover immediately. As my ability to breath improves, even though only under the support of my two oxygenation machines, I am able to continue most of my work.
My client counselling services seem dulled to the point where I’m not sure I’m providing the level of insight effective for my clients. I think I need to let my brain clear along with my lungs. However, I remind myself that Milton Erickson, one of the greatest psychotherapists and hypnotherapists, was disabled for his entire life. His breathing was shallow as is mine now, but his thinking never was unclear. Many claim his physical disabilities were actually a source of his unique connection with his client’s deeper reality, as if he could sense the truth they held in their bodies better than they could themselves.
Two times each day the outpatient hospital service phones me. Each time I log into their medical monitoring equipment and record my stats. Every other day they’ve been giving me chest x-rays. They’ve left me with two oxygen concentration machines, one in my bedroom and the other at the dining room table.
This is Canadian health care. It does not know enough to heal me, but it may function in no way different than any other hospital care service. I’ve been under their care for going on two weeks and I expect to be under their care for up to another 2 weeks. This service is at no cost to me, and is provided free by the province of British Columbia. I can complain that they cannot heal me, but I have the oxygen that I need and control over its flow.
You will need to study the situation with Ivermectin. It is a landmark in poor health care and corrupted science. The rejection of this off-patent drug alone by pharmaceutical carpetbaggers and their political stoolies is a far greater insult to world security than the nuclear arms race. It’s as if the undid antiboitics for the purpose of selling you something else. The reason is that nuclear arms leave a fingerprint and destroy assets, but manufactured viruses leave no human trace and accomplish all that war aims to achieve.
The story of Covid is that of intentional corporate genocide for profit in collaboration with a Machiavellian geopolitical strategy. Not conspiracy mind you: collaboration. The strategy is not deception per se, it’s theft and the transfer of wealth regardless of global destabilization and collapse. It’s evolution played as a game of musical chairs, your just not invited to the party.
I have finally secured a sufficient supply of Ivermectin. According to the MATH+ protocols for prophylaxis, treatment, and recovery (https://covid19criticalcare.com/covid-19-protocols/math-plus-protocol/). Ivermectin has alone resolved the pandemic for millions without the use of genetically modified vaccine-like medicines. It carries no danger and, for post-covid sufferers, it relaxes the immune response to allow for cardio-pulmonary recovery.
My nurses, who are taking my vitals twice each day, are commenting on changes in my heart and lung function. Yet, in spite of ivermectin’s effectiveness, its use is now banned by edict of nonmedical managers. Its availability through prescription has been halted. A doctor who prescribed it for me last year has now been warned not to prescribe it to anyone again. However, my friends have helped by ordering it in capsule form from India and in veterinary formulations locally.
I was quite nervous translating dosage from a 200 kg horse to my own 80 kg body, especially in my addled state of mind. Yet once I made the conversion, I squeezed out my 40 mg of horse paste and mixed it with strawberry yogurt. This being my new regime for five days running. This being something the hospital would never have allowed or even understood, being forbidden to administer anything outside drug company guidelines. Finally, I can do my own science and be my own doctor. Were that there was an alternative to being my own doctor, but there is not!
And when the paste is done, and the 5-day course completes, I have 60 more 12 mg tabs to continue the treatment, according to the I-Recover protocol, until my lungs are clear, (https://covid19criticalcare.com/covid-19-protocols/i-recover-protocol/).
The I-Recover protocol focuses on ivermectin but includes other basic vitamins and supplements. In this, my Hospital At Home program seems amenable. I tell them nothing about the ivermectin because they are scientifically stupid, a case where the word “stupid” is truely appropriate. But in the administration of other supplements they seem to have some insight.
Why would these practitioners endorse a limited response rather than a demonstrated effective response? The world “stupid” is the only one I can suggest. They are authentically stupid and this is in spite of many years of clinical, nursing, and medical training. Truely, they are stupid by any definition and I must speak to them as the idiots that they are. They know the meaning of my chemistry but they have no concept of my health!
For completeness, here is my list of vitamins and supplements. I’ve noted those I’ve incorporated with the hospital and doctor’s endorsement and those I’ve included through my own initiative.
- Ivermectin, the most important, of which I tell the hospital nothing.
- Vitamin D3, which they endorse and supply.
- Solgar V2000 dietary supplement, a broad spectrum vitamin
- Genestra brand Probiotic formula multistrain powder. A 16 billion bacteria supplement that provides 20 varieties. The actual effect of taking probiotics remains largely unknown, but taking these supplements has shown broad and positive power on the order of 50% improvement in situations of post viral fatigue syndromes. I talk about this at greater length in my book.
- Brewer’s yeast, which I sprinkle in large quantities on my food and includes components of sodium, protein, iron, potassium Thiamin, Riboflavin, Nacin, B6, Folate, B12, and phosophorus. It can be used as a taste-enhancer and salt substitute.
- Vitamin C at 500 mg twice daily. I have never been greatly impressed with Vitamin C, but here I will embrace it.
- Zink, 30 mg/day. I’ve never been a great zink advocate but the theory says I should not overlook it. The hospital seems to agree and is supplying me with it.
- N-A-C, or N-acetyl cysteine. This amino-acid precursor has the ability to enter the brain before it is processed into an important amino acid, whereas the subsequently complete amino acid cannot enter the cerebral tissues. Why this should be escapes me, but I’m not concerned with the theory.
- Melatonin, 3 mg/day. I have not previously felt in alliance with melatonin when used to enhance sleep, but its use here is for a different purpose. It may disturb my sleep and that may bother me, but under these conditions I am looking for a different effect.
- I suggested Atorvastatin (Lipitor) 40 mg/day. It’s on the I-Recover list. This is a statin medication is used to prevent cardiovascular disease in those at high risk and to treat abnormal lipid levels. I know nothing about it beyond this. The hospital pharmacist suggested it was not necessary in my case, so we did not include it.
- Omega 3 fatty acid, 4 gm/day. I feel very safe ingesting a high quality fish oil, and 4 gm/day is a lot of fish oil!
On the whole, I take a medically intuitive approach: I allow myself to be led toward things that work with the expectation that I will feel some positive indication. I shy away from things that don’t feel positive, or don’t have an emotionally positive feeling.
I base my actions on my gut feelings as the feelings may be gastric, emotional, or otherwise rooted in my sense of self. I would not follow my gut regarding toxic or counter-indicated substances, but I do follow my gut. My experience now will be a real litmus test in regard to whether what I see in myself is real or wishful thinking.
Of Higher Realities
In the realms of self-awareness, insight, and truth you cannot reconcile what you observe with the facts. Facts are what have a repeatable mechanism, but growth, change, and healing are not repeatable. Not only are there no guarantees, but what is guaranteed is never as valuable as what exists only in the realm of possibility. To heal and evolve is to enter a state that is beyond your control and outside of your judgement. You may still have reactions and memories, but they are not true in the repeatable sense.
Evolving systems are not guided by what’s true, they’re guided by what’s possible. This is the fundamental puzzle of consciousness: consciousness cannot grow based on truth, it can only grow based on what is unlikely.
When it comes to my own healing, I cannot be assured success or expectant of any certain prediction. Evolution and mechanism are fundamental opposites. Those who doctor by algorithm cannot understand this. Those who nurse using optimism cannot assure this. Yet my ability to heal is identical to that of anyone engaging in medical hypnosis: I can only achieve what I can imagine to the extent I can imagine it.
We ask for certainty and we ask for health, but we can only have one, and it’s only health that is ultimately meaningful. We cannot define what we do not know or not know yet how to achieve, yet it’s only such things as these that we can achieve because, otherwise, the process is simply mechanistic.
This is the core of healing. It is somewhat outside the realm of explanation with regard to our consciousness. It is totally outside the realm of our understanding with regard to our physical being. It is ironic that the more material aspects of us rely upon the least certain of truths to adapt to change and find homeostasis.
Like so many things, Covid is an opportunity for truth. It’s a truth that could have killed me and could kill you, but those of us who will prevail will have a personal understanding of change beyond mind and judgement, and how to relax into our bodies without thought or dichotomy.
My doors are open. If I’m thinking straight, and maybe even if not, I can take you to your truth in a land of ever shifting potential. This is what change really is. There is no “mental illness,” only new realms of what’s possible that have escaped your judgement.
“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”
— George Orwell
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